are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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