we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
