I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
