if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
