He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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