I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
