I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
