Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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