he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
