who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
