I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You're like the curious george of whores
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
