I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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