i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
