Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you win again, gameday.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
