I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
