she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
