Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
