I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
