How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize