Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
