Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize