I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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