OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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