Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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