you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
