so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
