She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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