No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
