Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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