I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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