Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
