around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
