i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You need Xanax blowdarts
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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