Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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