Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
