who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
