What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
