i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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