Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
