I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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