toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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