i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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