Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
