I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
