i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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