Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize