Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
This house was built for laser tag.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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