Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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