oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
