she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
