Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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