Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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