The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize