I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
