weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
