Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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