Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
