you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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