The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize
