He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
