Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
