I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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