i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
