I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
