I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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