just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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