Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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