Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
