The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
