The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
