I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
