Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
