So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I supernannyed him into submission
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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