elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
