I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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